My life is in your Hands God:]
A little glimpse of my life and what God is doing in my life:]
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The Maybe Cinderella
As a child my mom read me stories of Princesses and their Princes, she read me stories of the happily ever afters. I dreamt that one day I would find my Prince Charming and the glass slipper would fit just right. We think of the knight in shining armor coming to our rescue on a white horse. I always thought I would be swept off my feet by a prince charming, riding in on his white horse to come take me to the castle. I still have dreams of finding my prince charming but I am not even looking for a happily ever after, because there aren’t story book endings, there won’t always be birds singing in the morning, the dragon will not always be slain and sometimes my prince will not be able to defend and protect me. I used to compare myself to Cinderella, doing chores, my hands dirty and patiently waiting for prince charming to come along. Now, I think of myself as Snow White with her Seven Dwarfs taken away from the Kingdom and being banished. Fairy tales have made me imagine myself with the story book ending saying and they lived happily ever after. I might not find my prince charming, I might not find my knight in shining armor. But I can prepare myself like a princess, get all pretty and do whatever I can, I might catch a glimpse of my prince charming one day. Until think I’ll be getting my hands dirty like Cinderella… Or maybe I’ll sing one day my prince will come.
I feel like a princess without a castle, a princess without her prince charming and a princess fighting a dragon to escape the tower….
I know to all of you this may seem odd but I just remember as a child, thinking every love story was a happily ever after and love was simple… now it is complicated, love hurts, sometimes you fight for something harder than you should. I was always taught that you fight for those you love…. maybe this princess with have to pick up a sword and fight for herself and the people she loves, even when they won’t pick up a sword and fight for her… I’ll be the maybe cinderella…. waiting to see if one day my prince will come.
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Having a hard time
Today is a day I would be blasting A little Bit Stronger by Sara Evans my heart is on fire, my eyes hurt. I feel like a mash up of all the Taylor Swift sad songs and sara evans song should be on repeat. I need a big bowl of ice cream, a teddy bear and just a good sappy movie to let these emotions out. Yes, I know this will only make me feel better for a little while. I really just need to let the emotions out, pray and let God handle my heart. I am broken, tired and hurting… but I am gonna chose to stay positive and not let my broken heart and emotions beat me to the ground.
